I (need) help

Haiks..I don't know what have I done. I'm such a drama king/queen/whatever. It's like ridiculous lah. But I don't know why I do it also.

This is the problem actually:

I like to spin drama in my life. And then pretend like I'm the lead in this show who got all these emotional crap thrown at him and then how he seeks sympathy from people close to him.

Repugnant? Totally! Unnatural? Exactly! Sick? Absolutely!

How? You mean my life so boring one meh that I have to make a drama out of it? Or is it because I cannot get roles like that I'm making my own? Can also what. I mean, logical kan?

See lah...that's what happened when you're not handsome and have a good bod and you like to act. You make drama out of nothing, kinda like Shakespeare.

Wait! OMG! Am I the new Shakespeare?

- Oh boy...here comes me dreaming again...enough lah. You're not fucking Shakespeare. Can stop dreaming so big can or not? - okay.

But if I don't dream and make drama, how to write good drama stories right? I mean I need material. And where better to get them from own experience. So that means I can spin drama lah.

But if you cannot write properly, what's the point?

Well, at least I got material. I can start somewhere. Suchen-Christine Lim took 3 years writing and re-writing the awared winning The Souls God Forsake. That shows it's possible. I just have to keep refining it.

Whatever you say lah Ruzaini...

Oh ya. One more thing. Should we be given the ability to change our history?

Well of course! That will be great. So many people would want that to happen. So yeah, we should be given that ability.

Like Hiro?

Yeah! Like Hiro! Yaa-tah!

But why?

Why, why?

If we get the chance to change history, we wouldn't see and go through what we have come across. Isn't that bad?

(saying it Ellen's way) What? What nonsense. Eh mat kental (geek), can wake up and smell the air or not?

Don't you like what you've seen and gone through?

Nah. No, not really.

Are they all that bad?

...not all lah. Some.

So some are good?

Uh huh.

But what if you go back in time and change your past which cause your future to be more miserable than it already is?

Wah! You so pessimistic one meh? Can also be better what? Stupid!

"Can also be better." Not necessarily better.

So?

Maybe we should not change what has happened. There must be a reason why we cannot change our past?

Oh yeah? And what's that?

What's that?

I'm talking to myself again...God I must be crazy... :\

Love ya'll