Monday, 28 April 2008

Sanctimonious, Being Piously Lewd

With the beat of drum,
The men are coming
To say their peace
All forsooth and unbecoming.

To hear me speak
While the vines all climb
In due all time
In mute, no time.

But they have yet to say

Here astood the man that once said,
Back in set the domes of Faith.
The light that dawn once there;
Now good agone the long lost nay,
Bequeath his heart he asked not why
For what he gets he sleeps he may.

But they have yet to say

In a lie a life he tie
To a ring he swallows by.

To those forsake he runs not where
To those forsake He's not been there
To those forsake he asked not why
To those forsake He laugh on by.

But He has yet to say

The big red wing come onto the sky
Let it be known that once it's white.
The sacrilege of thy will not be known,
Only the sharp-toothed fang will show you go.
For it proves the It inside;
Will loom on grow the wilted fellow.
Stand the ground that thou shalt walk
Let it not damn the rose;
Whose colour ever so pure
As the blood that runs the veins
And the same that seeps the pain.
The red it shows mean many
Just not let it stain the lifting dove.

His heart seeks the felony
To cease the salacious desire
Of prude a matter that makes a man
To light the dim that shadows the wall
Whose blood it pumps
For in so pure.

His mind is spaced
To Paradise he goes
The path he longs
Once shrouded now clear.
With the beat of drum
He takes off a leap
For that he forseeks
He says,"I'm coming!"

Love ya'll

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

"Self-deduced" - somebody

If something were to happen to me, just know that it's got nothing to do with your doing (somehow) or undoing. It's unfortunate that it happened but nevertheless, it did. Move on and continue loving and living. If there was something, anything, that made you realised do wake up and change before time runs out. Time is ever ticking and awaits no one. Nothing will change if you don't.

Love ya'll

Friday, 18 April 2008

It made me think

Looking at the date of this entry and the last made me wonder somehow if I've been dead and now back to haunt the living beings of his friends...kakakaka.

Well no. I've been pretty much dead; just not buried. Need I say why?

For the benefit of those who'd like to know, it means my life has been wonder the age of Fin-de-Sicle came about. I'm so feeling it man. Muahahahaha! Interesting right my life?

If you're bored of hearing me lament over my boring life then feel free to either write your own or read some of my friend's blog. Alternatively, you get start facebooking. (Man, has that word become a proper noun now?)

Anyway, I saw the Atonement last Sunday. Rent it from Play. Followed by the Transformers. I'll try to talk about Transformers if I have the stamina still. Otherwise, it'll just be about Atonement.

Atonement...need I explain more? The title is pretty self explanatory right? Anyway, after watching the film it made me think for awhile - note my awhile is usually hours long (the subject of time is after all subjective). It made me realised that I should be more careful when I want to do something. And not to take it lightly. Yes emotions do help, especially when you have a hunch on something but being overly emotional could prove to backfire.

And to not act on impulse, that's another danger. A small matter can easily blow up to out of proportion with my carelessness. To not be callous and insensitive. And most of all, to love.

On another tangent, this drama king/queen/whatever has a talk with one of his friends and a brief text conversation with another. It appears that he has spoken again - made another (to what only he believes) alarming remark that he has split personality disorder!

Wow! Kudos! Brava! Eureka! Fireworks cracking in the sky!

It's not bad enough that he made a claim earlier on that he had to devise a new persona to differentiate himself from his stage persona, to safekeep his name and protect his identity; now he vouched - by a seemingly "sudden" stroke of miracle that has just been bestowed upon his (pathetic) self - that he actually has no real personality of his own to begin with! That his life has been a lie and a game of masquerade! What belied truth to beguile the bemoan (and precipitating) a (chiascurro) moment of sublime reality and fantastic illusion! one might say.

Goodness gracious me, this boy is already fucking mad. Quick get the doctor! Is there a doctor in the house, somehow? Like under the bed or in the closet or something? Quick! Hurry! Rush! Rush!

God bless his soul. He's out and gone. May he rest in peace...

Is this fucker a fucker or a fucker?!


Am I sick? Am I really unwell or am I simply being overly dramatic? Any heart-beating and breathing teenager reading this would say it's more of the latter. And any harbouring thoughts of thinking that it could possibly be the former is quickly dismissed as preposterous and labelled as a mean of seeking attention.

Well perhaps I am. Perhaps I am seeking attention. Perhaps I am an attention-seeker. I long for attention. I long for people to take me seriously and not look away after one glance. I long to be challenged with mature conversation. I long to be questioned and probed. To not look at me as this aloof flamboyant gay bastard who prances around like a fucking irritating pest that's better left unattended to! To fling him aside and left at the dumbster to ferment...

I have issues. I hate myself.

Love ya'll

Friday, 4 April 2008

Love You More

Take me back into the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
And remember when
There was no one that you wanted more

Don't go you know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
And you know I'll be standing here still

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
Can't you see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
[ Find more Lyrics at ]
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your
Heart needs to know

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
Can't you see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

And some way all the love that
we had can be saved
Whatever it takes we'll find a way

Believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your
heart needs to know

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
Can't you see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

Tentatively speaking

We are all living, tentatively.

Nothing is permanent. Everything will come to an end.

I have ten active seconds. Each one different. Each ten is different. Each difference is subservient to change. Even they do not wish to keep still. Lol. Look at how funny it is.

We cajole to change. We wait for change. We make the change, sometimes. We change.

But why do we change?

Because we have to.

We have to?

Yes, and it's needless to say.

There has got to be a reason.

Should there be a reason for change?


Should there be a reason for everything?




Everything is tentative. It's going to change anyway. Why bother wait for answers?


Should I change?


Should I not?


I think I should.


Because I'm happy.

What's that got to do?



Can you keep a secret?


What do you think of me?


...That's it...?

What more?

Guess I settle for good.

You want better?

Better is good.

Good is better than poor.

And pathetic.

But not friends.

Friends are good.

Not all.

Friendship is not tentative. It's lasting.

Love is lasting.

Friendship is Love. Love is subservient.


Sense of belonging.

And purpose.

What's the meaning in there?

No meaning.

But you said...

I know. So?


Nothing is good. Nothing is tentative.

But everything is tentative.

Nothing is everything without anything.

So anything is tentative?

Yes. Anything is tentative.

And so is Nothing?



Everything will change. Nothing will change. Anything will change. And I'm tentatively dead. =)

Love ya'll

Wednesday, 2 April 2008

Random mumbling

I'm watching American Idol...

...which reminds me...Shafiq got say to me once, "Have you ever wondered why is it American Idol and not Singaporean Idol?" I just stood, stunned...

...and today's mentor is Dolly Parton

(do you really know who she is? Or are you like,"Yeah I know who she is but I just don't know what song she has sung..." So I admit I don't know. Innocent. Smile.)

who says, "I know I'm cute" and we can pardon her for saying that cause that's just how it is. She's a familiar face in the industry, she's become a friend to many people - who know her but she doesn't know them and that don't matter - and friends saying that about themselves is permissible by us. Right? So can I say I'm cute and not get tomatoes thrown at me?


"Say what you think!"

I say: Just don't get caught.

"Just shut up!"

I say: You first.

"Don't talk to me!"

I say: Who said I was?

"Don't try to be a smart."

I say: Not gonna.

I had a sms-conversation with Su (Sufirah) :-

Su: Ruz! My boyfriend is as straight as the equator!

Me: But the equator follows the globe and the globe is round so the equator bends...(not in the sms but I just added)...because it can...hehe...

Am I such a bastardy bitch? Haiks, no I'm not.

And we all should start watching Dirt.

And David Achutella might win American Idol.

Syesha is rocking the song I Will Always Love You! Which was originally sung by Dolly Parton (what!? really???)...So of course ANYONE who sings that song WILL be compared to Whitney and she didn't get good comments by the judges but what the fucking hell. It was Syesha. I really like it. Another singer who did the song justice is X-Factor winner Leona Lewis. Yup! The Bleeding Love woman. Go youtube her lah; Leona Lewis - I Will Always Love You. Almost perfect sia..wooooooooh! Orgasing. Don't disturb. Ooh ah. Ooh ah. Ooh ah. Ooh ah. Ooha ah. Lol.


Another night. Another rambling. Another day coming to a close. Another day I managed to wake up. What happens then


Love ya'll