regrets, amongst others

i have a few regrets.

one. i wish i had been a sportsman. or athletic.

two. or a gymnast. there's gymnastics in my pri school.

three. insist on my parents sending me to dance classes. throw tantrums when they refuse. afterall, i am charming. =)

four. studied very much harder tho i know i'm not that smart. i could've made it to a better school.

five. stop being...ok maybe it's impossible. say, less? yeah. less pessimistic.

oh. i like lily allen. she's so spunky and original. some may find her offensive but i think it's they're not comfortable with her style yet.

i have to start finish reading the book i started. i need to do more of this.

be wiser.

i think i wanna take e lang and european studies at nus, assuming of course i get in.

can't wait to be in the rat race! kinda scared of it actually. but hey i gotta grow up!

this is what i think about...

we have been caught in this rat race so much so we forget how to slow down. always rushing for time and getting that information first before everyone else. the winner gets the prize.

what are we pursuing for? a faster death? letting our heart beats faster and closer to its limit? what for?

yet i cannot but be consumed as well. and i really wanna get out. or not be influenced. but can i?

and legalising organ donor...i need to read more about this so i can understand what's happening.

and now i know that muslims have been used for many things, namely pawns. why do we let ourselves get bullied. and those middle eatern politicians, do you know how fickle they are? they keep changing their deal everytime a negotiation is over. it's no wonder the conflicts are taking the longest time to resolve. and i think...could it be because of what happened to their forefathers? those who fought for the western's and european powers's success and empire to grow at the expense of their lives. i am actually quite mad at this.

but relax ruzaini. don't turn into an extremists yourself.

and...

i know what i want in my life. but why is it that what i've been doing don't seem to bring me closer to it. did i do it right? or did i do the right thing?

oh well. time. period. =)

a say in some things

ok. i've got a lot to write actually. and i gotta do this quick as i'm writing in camp (gulps).

one. wth is tobias thinking? like since when are we bffs? haiks.

two. i don't know what to do with my life. it's got lotsa stuffs happening sometimes. other times, none! i find it quite extreme. when can i have balance? like right amount of balance.

and what's this new 'S' Factor show about? here's what i think: slutty, sleazy stupid singaporeans. man. why do these girls put themselves out to be like that one. i'm sure they've got more dignity. i'm begging them to stop. =S

what else...

oh this new book: on secret service of constantinople, the plot to bring down the british empire by peter hopkirk. somehow i cannot but think the middle eastern conflict got something to do with this. the holy war. wilhem's espionage to monopolise the middle eastern area for economic reasons, so as not to appear inferior to the british and russians. and him "converting" to islam to get the muslims's help, and not seem like the christians fighting among themselves. long story. i think reading the book will help explain.

man i didn't know history is this interesting. hahak. should i consider...uhm...hahak.

now that i'm going to ord...i'm not liking it! funny eh. simple: i'll be broke (more accurately, penniless). oh no. .

and yep sarah. talking about history makes do make us more refined! but more importantly, i think we should know what happened in history so we can make sense of what's hapening now. at least we won't be accusing the wrong person and be paisey. =)

ok shit got some more to say..wait got a wee bit of distraction...

crap i forgot. haiks. nevermind then. =)

Kinda Big

i think i've grown a wee bit in size. and it's quite uncomfortable.

but many say i look more human now (less skeletal). really meh? guess so lor. they see and say what.

hahak. funny me.

Yotoyototakamama!

Maybe i should write something now...it has been quite a long while and i do miss blogging.

why? uhm...i don't know cause it's about writing? and i like to write? maybe i'm like sarah. nah. we're different. unique in our own ways.

but i write like (shit!) what's the word...? haiya whatever la. let's do the normal thing.

i'm going to ord soon! one month. don't know how to feel. good i guess. honestly, it feels like nothing. just another thing. haiks.

so i don't quite get the enthusiasm about ord-ing. if there's anything, i think i don't want to ord. cause that would mean i'll be broke before school starts. i'm sure anyone knows how it feels to be broke, and broken. haiks.

i should sigh less. =)

i like the new song by enrique feat ciara: takin' back my love. cool music! so danceable.

talk about dancing, man how i really wanna dance! like dance!

but i've to go for classes. which mean i've to pay. that's not good. blurgh. =( so what can i do?

make my own dance studio from my small room! hahak. silly but ok what. can still move.

oh i know why i haven't been blogging lots. hahak. cause i've done more facebooking.

you know ruzaini, it feels kinda weird talkng (and/or writing and/or conversing) with yourself. like idiot and pathetic guy with no friends. hahak. sad. not too bad actually. =)

cheer up mate. good things will happen. they always do. just...need more patience only. =)

anything else to write?

i need a new desktop/laptop and pick up from where i left. can't say it's a comeback (gees, what a word to use!) since i've never been away. (maybe a break) but now i'm coming back. =)

An update

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

from: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx