One: It's taboo to be talking about my sexuality; that's my rule. You can skirt around the issue but don't ever approach the subject directly. Two: Let's get technical.
Yes I am an unconventional being. My sexuality has unofficially deemed as away from the norm. I took quite a long while to comprehend and grasp this fact. So do be mindful. Nevertheless, I'm fundamentally a human being with flaws. My imperfection might be apparent or, otherwise, subtle. I am susceptible to making mistakes just like you. I am prone to being influenced just like you. I am almost just like you. Our differences make us unique. Thus, embrace them. It's God's gift to us. Failure to do might lead to undesirable consequences. One such example is to be despondent and dejected for most part of your life. This could be your earthly punishment. My rationale is that you are spiritually imbalanced.
Religion is important. It keeps our spiritual side balance. As the Chinese believes, if your ying and yang are in perfect harmony, you'll live a happy life. Sadly, in a materialistic world such as this one that we are living in, happiness is often measured by our prized possessions. I pity these people who have been warped. The truth is you can still be happy if you are not wealthy. It depends heavily on one's self. For me, being born into and raised by an average "middle-income group" family has taught me to be appreciative of what we have. It's pointless envying our friends who are able to afford the latest thousand something Prada beg. I'd rather seek spiritual solace than to be hunting for the latest top by Zara. Your mind is often in a zen mood. And subsequently, you'll find happiness. I am happy with who I am. I wasn't like this not too long ago.
And of course in the course of seeking spiritual solace you'll learn more about your religion. You'll gain a better understanding of why were the rules made and how are they applied. Being someone who is attracted to men, more than women, I strongly believe that I should study these laws carefully because there are some exceptional rules which were made specifically for me. The Qu'ran didn't state that men are forbidden to fall in love with another men. It states that: "one is forbidden to be engaged in a sexual activity with someone from one's own gender." This is a very problematic statement. It is susceptible to a common assumption. However, every statement in any holy text is rather dubious. It is up to the followers to interpret them, with the help and guidance from certified religious leaders. Not forgetting the context in which the rules are made.
The main assumption, thus conclusion, that many have undertaken is that it is wrong to be gay then simply because Islam doesn't condone gay sex. If we look at it closely, the fallacy here is that sex is being equated to sexuality. Primarily because the former is a root word of the latter therefore they are understood to mean one of the same thing. If that is the case then steadfast is a sophisticated term for (getting) steady (fast) , right? Man the word sex and sexuality sure get steady fast.
Allow me to digress a little here. Here's another statement that deals with wordplay,"The pen is stronger than the sword." Can you spot subtle sexual innuendo? (note: read the words "pen is" as one word.)
The other assumption made is that in a romantic relationship, sex is involved. This careless (pun intended) equation is hard to avoid. It is true that sex is involved in a romantic relationship as it has been widely understood as a process of "making love." However it is a choice made by the couple. And when the question of choice is brought into the picture, it becomes obvious that the immediate connection and association is untrue. Sex doesn't need to be a major part of a relationship. Afterall, it's 5% sex and 95% hardwork am I wrong? I can still continue with a relationship without having sex. Some people might not like it, others don't mind though they are not for the idea. It's up to individual's preferences. I do not make their decisions for them.
Here's another statement that I have to observed: Islam encourages marital sex of two opposite gender. This is an encouragement; to procreate and expand the population of Muslims in the world. Usually, when something is encouraged it's for the betterment of one's self. Would it be wise to avoid it?
Also, gay sex is dangerous. Most gay couples perform anal sex and fellatio. I do not know how fun and pleasurable it is but if it's often done means it gives the couple great pleasure. And receiving pleasure makes one feels good. Thus the need to want more. It soon becomes an addiction which might be critical and perilous. The constant exchange of body fluids increases the chance of a person getting HIV and subsequently AIDS, which is fatal. Hence, in a way you are taking your own life away. You are being ungrateful to God's gift, which would incur His wrath and a one-way ticket Pyro Villa. This is to show the severity of the matter. Hence, to avoid it it's better to avoid being gay. Interestingly, I do not see why the same logic doesn't seem applicable to my promiscuous heterosexual counterparts. The offences do belong to the same page and not sui generis.
I do not wish to ponder over the matter if I would straightened up one day. I might, or I might not. It depends on my fluid sexuality. I do not wish to get lost in this labyrinthine thoughts, again. For all those who have accepted me for who I trully am, I love you for it. For those in the process, don't rush it. Let time takes its toll. For those who are reluctant, I am indifferent about it. I respect your decision. For those who are trying, good. Life is more than just about sex and sexuality. It's a labyrinth itself. Thank God I'm not lost anymore. I owe myself to You.
Love y'all.
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