Sunday, 26 August 2007


You can shoot me any profanities that you can think of. I won't be greatly affected. I'll get mad, maybe, and shoot back a few or maybe none but that's because of your tone. It's harsh and unwelcoming. It's merely a reply. A natural aspect of any form of conversation.

Being who I am, it's a heresy. Heinous even to some. But someone's gottabe me. Too bad I'm the unfortunate one.

Yes I do lament over who I am. I do get angry at Him sometimes 'cause he made me who I am - a joke for others to ridicule. I do wish that at times I'm disparaged but that will skydived my self-esteem.

Hence, it's better to not conceive who I am and let others talk. Since people like to talk and spreading not pleasant news are often the topic of our lemme see, I thought Islam disallow that too? It's one of the heaviest punishment to be given for those who've convicted such crime. Oh the horror. I let others talk and dummify myself.

Syaza called me last night, after 7 months I think, to tell me that she chanced upon my blog from someone at school (MJ) whom I seldom talk to. That could mean one ting: many have known about me. I only hope I won't be looked down upon. I cannot push anymore out. I could just cave in.

I can concede, but tolerance have a limit as opposed to acceptance. I accept me (do I have a choice?) but not tolerate those who jester me. And as for any insults you can fling at me, there's one word which I realised will really get to me.

You don't have to think far. It's not a bad word. Really. It's not even a profanity. Serious. It's a decent word. An innocent word if y0u'd like to personify it. You can see the object, to use a general term, everyday. You might be one yourself.

I act like "it". So I guess must have mistaken that I would like to be "it". But I'm not. I never wannabe it. It will never cross my mind to be "it". Yet they are the people whom I am very close to. My two close friends are themselves.

I've given you all the clues. Go figure. Hee!

Love y'all

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