Payment

It's a universal understanding that nothing comes for free. Even the "free gift" that we received in a Lucky Draw comes with a price- either you have to buy something of a certain amount before you are entitled to a coupon; or you'll get cheap fragile products that easily break into pieces. It may sound unbelievable that it's only recently that I truly understood what this word "payment" means, both in its literal and figurative form. And the pricetag attached to it. But it's true.

I went shopping again yesterday. I couldn't resist the urge to buy new tops and pants when they are on sale and I have money, although I promised myself to curb these urges. It's like placing a cigarette in front of an ex-smoker. I easily succumbed to temptation. Eventhough I have to pay a hefty sum of $100++ in total, I do feel satisfied. During my retail therapy session, nothing feels better than hearing the beeping sound of the Nets machine saying "Approved". My heart leaped joyfully after each successful payment is made. How can I not be? Rather than spending $100++ on two items at Topman, I managed to bag about 8 items for the same price.

Sadly, "payment" can also be spelt as "consequences"; and the second spelling has a heavier pricetag attached to it. It's like the feeling of regret you get when you revert back to your old habits which you have tried to kick for a long time. Now I am left with a few dollars left to spend for the rest of the month.

I am having a problem here. It's the addiction I have for shopping. I picked up this bad habit recently. I called it bad because it does harm to myself. And although I brought this upon myself, I would still pin the blame on the habit. I cannot identify myself with the problem because it's quite uncanny. Perhaps you can call it denial. But would you still want to take the blame when you are accused of picking up smoking/drugs/drinking? The most probable culprits will be your friends whom you hang around with. You would say that it's "peer influence/pressure". As for me, it's the same. It started out as envy for my friends who get to shop when we go out. Then when I start earning, I made up for those losses. The difference between me and them is that they still have savings after spending. I barely have any to even start a saving amount. In my attempt to make up for those losses, I'm losing even more. Now I am addicted to it. I need help. Professional or amatuer assistance will do. So long as I get to get myself out of this mess. I'm not in debts yet. I fear one day I will be burdened by heaps of unpaid bills. I want to get out of this spiral downwards pattern. Help me! Please!

Due to my careless behaviour, now I have to pay double the price- the hefty pricetags and the heavy consequences. If I keep up with this habit, I might have to pay the consequences with...my life. I wish it wouldn't happen. I'm trying my best to not let it happen. I need someone to guide me through this. If there are more people willing to help, I'll be glad.

Is this a burgoening problem in a well developed and materialistic country like Singapore? It seems that the increasing number of financial institutions providing financial help through various schemes is a strong warning that many Singaporeans are not managing their wealth properly. Thus the need for professional financial institutions like OCBC abd HSBC to step in and lend a helping hand. Do you guys suffer the same problem as me? If you are, let's help each other out. I think it's one of the best way to pave ourselves out of this problem.

Love y'all