I have enough of people yaking in my ears for a day, ok?! ENOUGH! I don't you mom to be nagging at me on simple stuffs like washing my clothes, where did I go, where am I going, have I done this, have I d0ne that. I might as well turn back the clock and go back into your womb since this world is so harsh and difficult to live in. Rimas tau! RIMAS!
Orang tau la nak buat aper. Tak yah nak tanye banyak-banyak. Bingit tau tak! Bingit!
Being concern is one thing. Being compulsively protective is another. Watch the line cause you're driving me insane with your insecurities. Please, give me a break and space. I cannot be shaded all the time. Is it wrong to go out in the morning and come home late at night? Your second son does that and he's younger than me. If you wanna compare us then let's...
- I made it to JC but he...I don't know.
- I've not gotten into trouble with the law but he has quite a few times.
- He makes your blood boils while I try to simmer you down.
- I do his share of work while he enjoys and helps bring in the money. Well now I'm bringin in the money too, what else can he do?
- I give in and do loads of shit work while he gets away with them often.
- I put others before me, unlike him.
- A small mistake I made gets magnified while his major problem gets shrunk to a such microscopic level.
- I know how to pick my friends, but does he?
If you want me to turn against you...then your wish will be my command.
- I can start promiscuing.
- I can pick up smoking.
- Go clubbing and take glasses of alcoholic drinks.
- I can be more insolent than him.
- I can do things that you won't imagine.
So you want me to? Seriously, if you want than ok. I can start now. I can go out to some gay club and get fucked by countless number of horny and rich men who don't mind becoming my sugardaddies. I can throw away the future you so hopefully want me to have now. So you want me to? Come on...tell me!
And my sister...she has to stop talking too. Her voice is getting fucking irritating and she's down right rude. I've not slapped her yet. Don't make me do it till she becomes dumb. Mind your words missy. Another nonsense from you right now and they could be the last thing you will ever say.
And also people whom I am close to. All the others...I need my own time. My own space. I believe that at the very least, I should be given my own personal time and space. And that means no form of disturbance. Let me simmer down on my own. Is that so hard to ask?
And all these noise made by pushing and pulling the furniture around the house. Clanging of metal utensils. Stuff dropping on the floor. I just want SILENCE!
SILENCE. SILENCE. SILENCE.
So that I can hear my own breathing. My own heartbeat. Feel the cold air brushing against my skin. Prayers in the background. Ya, forget about it being complicated. I am complicated. deal with it. No need to think and worry too much. I'll figure things out myself. No advice now. I'm still irritated and not in the mood. Please. See, i'm even begging.
Today was the pes A/B POP, not the pes C one. Pes C no POP because we are not worth it. Only the "background and back up support people" as we are deemed to be, to use euphemism. Our training isn't that intensive so you'll get a Piece of Cake (POC) instead since our training is a POC. Errgh. I feel so exploited. Seeing the thrill that other recruits feel after their POP fills me up with envy and disappointment. Not only that, we get to go home later than them today cause we have to clear up after them. And the enthusiastic parents didn't help either. They choose to linger around the place even after the POP; making it hard for us to start working and thus delay our book out time- from 1730 to 1930. Yup, a very short extension what. It doesn't matter. Who look at the backside? You only use it to shit and fuck what.
I'm terribly terribly irritated today. So please shut up. Stop talking, thank you!